It’s Resolution Time! December 31, 2011

What would an organization blog be without a year-end post on New Year’s Resolutions?

Most people make some sort of resolution to kick off the new year, and the vast majority give up on or even forget them my mid-February. Do you even remember what you resolved to do in 2011? Did you get it done?

You can make 2012 different by employing a few basic resolution strategies:

1) Make a plan. If you want to achieve something, you have to come up with a way to do it. Losing weight is a common resolution, and a noble one. But how will you do it? “Eat better” is not a good plan. There’s not enough detail; there are no real rules. Will you join Weight Watchers? Count Calories? Limit Carbs? Maybe you want to save up a month of expenses in an emergency fund. Put a dollar figure on that, and divide by 12 to see how much you need to save each month. Can you do that on your current income, or do you need to consider additional employment?

2) Have a goal. A lot of people resolve to do something “better” or “more,” but there’s no way for them to really measure if they’re accomplishing anything. Resolving to work out more? How much more – give it a number – twice a week, three times a week – and a duration – half an hour, one hour, whatever. Take that goal and back into a plan – joining a gym, taking a fitness class, finding a partner to run with. I’ve also seen a few people resolve to make better use of their time, and this is harder than one would think. Consider why you think you are currently using your time poorly, and what good time management looks like to you. Are you looking for more free time, more family time, a better ability to hit deadlines at work? How, specifically, are you going to do that?

3) Go public. Get support. It doesn’t have to be someone who has the same resolution as you, but find a friend, partner, coworker, even one of your kids, to be your cheerleader. Share your successes with them and give them permission to call you out on your stumbles. There’s no reason to go it alone. That only makes it harder on you, not to mention easier to throw in the towel.

Also, a couple points about resolutions that seem kind of obvious, but are still worth mentioning:

1) You don’t have to give up if you mess up. You have a whole year in front of you. If you fall off the wagon, dust yourself of and get back on. It’s not a big deal. Similarly, if you realize your resolution is not making your life better – you had the best of intentions in starting that website, but now blogging is something you dread and you’re just not that into it – then stop.

2) You don’t have to start on January 1. Maybe it’s just not a good day for you. The morning you wake up hung over on your buddy’s couch is not the best day to start your new exercise program. The afternoon you spend at a family holiday dinner is not the best day to start your new diet. Go ahead, wait for the second, or even the third. You’re going to learn to cook and classes don’t start until Spring Semester? That’s OK, it still counts.

3) Resolutions are not just for the new year. If you find something you are interested in, if your doctor tells you there is something you need to do, if there is something going wrong with your relationships, don’t wait until next January to put a plan in place. Make a resolution because it’s the beginning of the month, or the beginning of the week. Make a resolution because you woke up some random morning and realized you needed to make a change. You don’t have to wait until it’s “in season.”

Kind of piggy-backing on that, you can check out my new facebook page, 12 months 12 challenges. The idea is that everyone picks a goal, challenge, resolution, etc. on a monthly basis and then tries to do it every day for 30 days. It could be something as simple as eating breakfast in the morning, taking time out for a daily prayer or meditation, or putting all of the dishes in the dishwasher before bed. My January resolution involves twitter. Anyway, I think it’s a neat idea and if you’re so inclined, I’d love to see you join up at www.facebook.com/12challenges.

Here’s to a fantastic, healthy, exciting, and amazing 2012!

End Hiatus December 21, 2011

So the blog ended up being on inadvertent hiatus for awhile. In the time I was not writing, a widely panned movie called “I Don’t Know How She Does It” was in theaters. I did not see it on account of my extreme dislike of the lead actress, but I did read the book. I thought it would be interesting because “I don’t know how you do it” is something that people say to me a lot.

It was a fun book, and I’d recommend it for a quick, easy read. The end result, though, is that she doesn’t do it. She flails around for the entire story, and just when everything starts to fall apart in epic fashion, she pitches it all to start over.  Most of us do not have that luxury. We are pretty much stuck with the lives we have.

So, here is how I do it, and how you can do it, too:

1) Prioritize. It’s just not all that important. This goes not only for the big-picture issues (keeping your job, family time, care for a sick relative) but the little things. For example, you may need to get the laundry, dishes, and vacuuming done, but not have enough time to do them all. Do the most important first. Being completely out of clean socks will bump the laundry up on the list, having enough to get through the next couple days may push it down.

2) Say No. I cannot emphasize this enough. This fall I went to the open house at my son’s school, and his teacher mentioned they were still looking for someone to volunteer to be class parent. My husband looked right at me and said, “Don’t even think about it.” He was right. I don’t have the time to do it well and I can’t make the commitment to be there for class parties, etc. because of work. Being class Mom would have stretched me entirely too thin, and I’m better off volunteering for individual class events as time allows. If you don’t have time to commit to something, don’t commit. This goes for volunteer activities as well as work assignments, helping friends, and even doing things for your extended family. It’s not easy, but you have to learn to say no to things you just don’t have the capacity to do.

3) Ask for help. If you are overloaded at work, bring it to your boss’s attention before it becomes a major emergency. If you need help around the house, enlist your partner, get someone from craigslist to clean your bathrooms, or send your laundry out for washing. Teach your kids to pick up after themselves, help fold and put away laundry, and make their own snacks – whatever they can handle based on their ages.

4) Plan. Take the time to set up a calendar, then maintain it so that you know where you have to be and when you have to be there. Look at your calendar a couple days ahead of time and figure out if there’s planning, shopping, etc. that you have to do before an appointment. Make a weekly menu and grocery list. Use your bank’s online tools and whatever program you like to keep track of your finances on a regular basis – know your balances and plan for the month’s expenses at the beginning of the month, or based on your paydays. Write it down. Write everything down. Don’t let it clog up your brain.

5) Let it go..Sometimes things do not get done and sometimes you will not be perfect. That’s OK. Readjust. You meant to bake cookies for a party but you don’t have time. Fine. Pick some up at the store. No one will crucify you. You have to unload the dishwasher but your kid needs help with their homework. The dishes can wait. The laundry will not decompose if you leave it in the dryer and fold it tomorrow instead of today. The meeting will go on without you – or can be rescheduled – if you need that time to meet a deadline. You do not have to show up at every social event you are invited to. You can give 100%, but no more. The world will not stop spinning.

6) Get some sleep. Seriously. There’s so much to do and it seems like there is so little time, and we often end up staying up late to get everything accomplished. Or we’ve worked so hard all day that we end up sitting in front of the tv, mindlessly snacking to SportsCenter until way past bedtime. Stop. Get some sleep. Let what can wait until the morning wait until the morning, and don’t lose hours half-watching shows you don’t even care that much about. Get yourself to bed. Not reading in bed, not iPhone in bed, sleeping in bed. If you follow no other rule, follow this one. You cannot function without enough sleep. You will burn out, you will get sick, you will get cranky, and you will make mistakes. Sleep.