We all get requests to contribute our time, talents, and money to a variety of causes. Most of the time, these requests are for what we consider worthy causes or important organizations, and we genuinely want to help. There’s only so much a single person can do, however, and if you’re finding yourself spread too thin, running from meeting to meeting, up too late at night working on fundraising projects, or consistently missing out on time with loved ones because you have volunteer obligations, you may be taking on too much.
Repeat after me: You can say no. It does not make you a bad person.
You know what you love to do, and you know what you’re good at. You know how much money you can afford to contribute. Do what you can, and pitch the rest. The world will not end. There may be someone on your committee who would love to take over, or a volunteer who would take your shift if you didn’t have it already. In leaving your commitment, you may be creating an opportunity for someone else.
Your friends and relatives will also not hate you forever if you don’t walk in every 5K or show up at every knit-a-thon they ask you about. Participate in what you have time for, and for causes you care about. The same goes for contributions. Donate what you can, for causes you care about. Let the rest go. If they really push you about making a contribution and won’t take “I don’t have the money right now” as a valid reason for you not making one, then there’s a relationship problem there. Your money is your business. Most of the time, someone collecting for charity has asked everyone they know to chip in, and they won’t even notice if you’re not contributing this time around.
Remember that by spreading yourself too thin, you’re diluting the contribution you make. If you have 10 hours a week to volunteer, and you split them between 2 organizations, each is only getting 50% of your time. That may not sound so bad, but the more you spread out your commitments, the less each group is getting from you. Giving 2 hours a week to 5 different causes is much less appealing, and will cost you even more time as you run from meeting to meeting, prepare for events, and miss out on things at home. Find something you love and give it 100%, or two things you love and give them 50% each. You can have more involvement, a larger impact, and most likely more satisfaction that way. The same is true of your money. If you send $5 to 5 different charities, you will have a minimal impact on each. If you send $25 to the one that means the most to you, your dollars will go further.
A special note to moms, because we’re the worst at this: You are not a bad parent if you do not show up at/work on/contribute to everything you kid brings home a flyer about. I’d love to be class mom, but I have a full time job and I can’t carry out that kind of commitment well. You do not have to make something for every single bake sale – I throw all those flyers out immediately. I don’t like baking and I’m not good at it. If that’s something you love to do, though, bake sales can be a great way for you to contribute. Pick and choose what you contribute to and help out with. If you’d like, look for opportunities to volunteer with you children – maybe their school is sponsoring a walk you can participate in together, or maybe you can take a day off to chaperone one of their field trips. Maybe you would enjoy teaching their Sunday School class, or they would like to help you wrap gifts for needy children. You can use these instances not only to spend valuable time with your children, but to teach them important lessons about giving back and helping others.
While we’re on special topics, we might as well talk about your religious organization. No one likes to say no to their church. In some cases, you may be obligated to make some sort of contribution (i.e. tithing). Most of the time, though, your participation is optional. Your church probably has a ton of committees, fundraisers, charitable groups, and events. Most likely, you think some or all are for a good purpose. This doesn’t mean that you have to be involved with all of them. Again, by spreading yourself too thin, you dilute your impact. Choose what means the most to you – maybe working with the parish children, welcoming new members, or helping with a restoration project – and let someone else help out with the rest. Only go to those events that you will truly enjoy. I have never been to a parish or school golf outing, because I don’t like golf. I show up at every pasta dinner during Lent, because I like the community feeling around a table of food, and I can bring my family with me.
By narrowing down your volunteer obligations to those that you love, do well, and can seriously commit to, you will find that you have more time, less stress, and more satisfaction with your contributions. Volunteering and charity should be something that you enjoy and find rewarding. Your time and your money are limited. Don’t spend them on things you don’t find meaningful.
